“Most days life feels…”normal”…again. Get up. Take the kids to school. Go to work. Come home. Go to bed. Do it all over again day in and day out. Everyone sees that you are back to a “normal” routine again and while that is great 99% of the time… That 1% where it’s not okay sneaks up out of nowhere. Unexpectedly.
We are just two weeks away from C’s first scan since his surgery and the insecurities, fear, anxiety, anger all creep back more and more as we get closer to that day. We are back in the trenches- watching everyone around us living life without cancer and wishing that for one second it could go back. To how it was. Before our world came crashing down. Before my heart skipped a beat. Before we heard those scary words knowing what cancer means. I just want to play back June 1 over and over again – because that was our last normal day.
Yet here we are… In our new normal. Where we have tears, anxiety, stress, scans, oncologists, scars, and worst of all cancer. I want more for this boy- cuddled up in my arms. He deserves more- so in the morning when he wakes there won’t be anxiety not fear- just love. Pure love and gratitude that he is my boy and he wears his scar to show his courage. Courage I wish I had on the days where that 1% lasts 100% of the time.
But until then… Whatever it takes as long as it takes.”
— A Dragonfly Mom