Facebook post (reprinted with permission) from a Dragonfly mom:
“So, kyli wanted to go to the mall today to buy herself some running shoes. As we’re walking around, the mall is nearly deserted at 1:30 in the afternoon. Of the few people we saw, nearly all of them gave us a half-smile and looked away when we made eye contact with them. So sad. And I’m not sad for us. I’m sad for them. And because they are sad for/or feel pity for us, which causes them to avoid contact, they are missing out on so much we have to offer them. They will never know our strength as a family, C’s strength as a cancer patient and survivor, our ability to embrace and value our experience, Our ability to accept our diagnosis for what it is, our value for life, time, laughter, relatipnships, new friendships, strengthening the relationships we already had, accepting and in turn, offering support to others, the ability to feel whatever it is that we feel without the need to hide it, to open up and share our experience with others who haven’t been able to embrace their experience with the love, acceptance, and openness we have chosen for our experience. And it’s just that simple. It’s about choices. You don’t lose your choices because it’s cancer. You can still choose the way you approach it. Alone, as a family , angry, blame, denial, loss of control, fear, sadness, self-pity, love, embrace the experience, acceptance, a game plan, a goal, perspective, openness, withdrawn, uninvolved, hopeful, hopeless., etc. But know whatever angle you choose, they all have consequences to some degree, good or bad. I often wonder if people look at us, confused by the fact that we’re laughing, talking, hugging, enjoying a day out and wondering what we have to be happy about. Everyone has “life-glitches.” Some are mountains and some are just bumps. It all depends on how you choose to see your “life-glitch.” Ours is just a bump. It’s not going to control us. That’s not the choice we made. So, if you see us out, you can smile, say hi, stop and talk, and ask questions. Looks of pity are not welcome. In fact, they’re frowned upon. We’ve chosen strength.”