“I’ve probably slept a couple of hours tonight. My whole body is anxious. My stomach is in knots awaiting her ANC and her next temp and her next heart rate. I pray and am hopeful at least a portion of me is. I want M to be well. I want our little family to have a week of peace, heck a life of peace, too. I’ll take a day at a time, though. I worry about M being sick and the rest of me worries about M. I’m realizing as I’m sitting here in the darkness of our fish bowl room on Burnett Ave, that I worry as much about both kids. I worry that M isn’t taken care of by her mom or dad. I worry that she will feel neglected or unloved. I worry that she won’t feel special. I worry, worry, worry. I’m realizing that I have to trust Jesus with both of my girls, not just M. It pains my heart for my other daughter to be shuffled around without consistency, but what do you do? What can we do? There is nothing to do but either choose to worry or trust. That is what it boils down to…. I’m not doing very well at trusting these past few days….I’m actually, pretty terrible at it.”
