Cancer Hurts… Relationships

You can’t punch cancer in the face. You can’t beat it up, but you can take the frustration, anger and sadness out on those you love…

From a friend of the Foundation.

If cancer has attacked a loved one, and you think you can go it alone, think again. You are not weak by asking for assistance. In fact, it is just the opposite.

Men have such a hard time asking for help or talking about their feelings. They think it is a sign of weakness. In fact, you are harming yourself and your family if you try to carry this heavy burden alone.

Even Clint Eastwood weighed in on this topic in the movie “Dirty Harry” when he said, “A man must know his limitations.” I know this full well. I was a former fireman and union truck driver in New York City. I tried to carry the burden alone when cancer rang my doorbell, and I did not do a good job of it at all.

I have written a book, entitled “Surviving Cancer After Surviving Cancer,” that will be published in a few months about what cancer does to relationships. The divorce rate increases for cancer couples, and in future newsletters, I will explain why, and how to stay close to those you love during this most difficult time.

Do not be afraid to talk about your feelings—to a therapist, a pastor or rabbi, or even to your best friend. It helps lighten the load. Ask yourself—would you do this for someone else if they asked for your help? Of course you would. So…let other people show their love for you by letting them help during your time of need.

Kevin L. Murphy